15 important things i’ve learned while watching ‘cowboys & aliens’

Name: Cowboys & Aliens (2011)

 

Imdb page: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0409847/
Rotten Tomatoes page: http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/cowboys_and_aliens/
Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJixNxFxhT4

Important things i’ve learned while watching this:

01. Apparently a man doesn’t think when he kisses a woman.
02. A dog can keep up with a pack of horses.
03. People don’t die or even get injured when they’re yanked suddenly into the air at high speed, then dragged along for miles.
04. Bad movie titles indicate bad movies.
05. If your son is a coward and an absolute a-hole, hope that he’ll get kidnapped by aliens and lose his memory so you can retrain him to be nice.
06. Don’t leave your weapon lying next to the torture table you have James Bond strapped to.
07. Virtually invulnerable aliens love to show their soft spot to kids so the kid can easily kill them.
08. A really shiny knife can turn a boy into a man.
09. Harrison Ford likes cowboy hates too much.
10. One human with a wrist-blaster can more effectively deal out death than an army of aliens with the same weapon.
11. Red indians can play a pivotal role in saving their planet but still don’t get to be included in the film’s title.
12. When told “don’t look at the blue light” you immediately do look at it.
13. If a huge alien spaceship blows up above you, you will not have to run and look for cover as there will be no debris or shrapnel falling from the sky.
14. I was surprised they let Tropic Thunder’s Simple Jack write the script for this movie.
15. If you’ve spent the first 60+ years of your life as an execrable torturing mofo (even to Medieval levels), having your deadbeat son captured by aliens and your heretofore ignored Indian kinda stepson killed by same will virtually overnight transform you into the smiling town dandy.

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