Name: 300 (2006)
Important things i’ve learned while watching this:
01. If someone has a hunchback and is kinda nasty, don’t trust him. Kill him immediatly.
02. Even a god king can bleed.
03. A queen will sleep with a nasty guy if it means she gets to make a glorious speech.
04. Immortals? Not really.
05. These people really did’t care about dying.
06. Spartans fought nude.
07. The Spartans really weren’t gay.
08. Persians were apparently blacks back then.
09. Spartan cities had bottomless pits dug in the centre of town to keep any annoying messengers quiet.
10. Xerxes was 8ft foot tall queer and made of gold.
11. Mutant-like monstrosities with Lobster claws and 7ft supersoldiers existed back in 480BC.
12. The Immortals were really Japanese ninjas.
13. Being a Spartan mother really sucks. If you’re lucky enough to have your child pass inspection and not be thrown off a cliff, he’s taken away from you in seven years anyway to have the snot beat of out him daily, and then be thrown out into the wild to fend for himself and probably die. All in all, it would be much easier to just raise puppies.
14. Xerxes really enjoys his armless trannys.
15. Time automatically slows down when a Spartan makes a kill.
16. When an army of thousands is about to descend on Sparta and only 300 warriors are defending the city, you should have a long council session to decide whether or not to send reinforcements.
17. Spartans don’t carry any supplies such as food or water; they’re just that tough.
18. People who run oracles have the power to levitate themselves.
19. War looks like a video game.