Name: Death Race (2008)
Important things i’ve learned while watching this:
01. In a large prison, there’s one guard to do all the work.
02. If you occasionally wear a mask, no one will have any idea you’re actually the driver of the car.
03. MILFs make excellent prison wardens.
04. The US economy and government can completely collapse as soon as 2012.
05. You can strap thousands of pounds of steel, explosives, guns, bullets and gasoline onto a car, and it will still run faster than most street cars.
06. Said cars can be repaired completely by a crew of four to five people in less than 24 hours after being shot with hundreds of bullets.
07. Small cars can hold A LOT of ammo.
08. Convicted murderers will be released back into the public after proving they’re better at killing EVEN MORE people.
09. Good behavior gets you on the track, but being a horrible, ruthless, cold-blooded murderer lets you race for freedom.
10. If you build a giant death semi trailer, it’s not necessary to make sure it’s immune to the death traps of the track you also built.
11. Rockets on top of an inmate driven car are not going to be an issue.
12. Have your two helicopters chase the one of two cars without rockets. The car with rockets will not cause trouble for anyone.
13. Fellow inmates doing life will trust you easily.
14. There is no reason the have rear guns in a Death Race whatsoever.
15. Never, Ever, Ever, ride as machine gun Joes passenger.
16. A Gigantic truck with about 20x the firepower and weight of the street cars can travel just as fast, and can be easily boxed in
17. When the US economy has collapsed and you just escaped from prison, Mexico is the place to go
18. After one quick talk with the man who wants to kill you, you will automatically become BFF’s
19. Big black dudes who kill as many people as ruthlessly as possible are really big softies inside.
20. Don’t even bother putting flamethrowers in cars, because no one will ever use them.
21. Those who have problems with cursing are usually the biggest offenders (and make no sense when they’re doing it.”
22. If you’re a famous car driver, framed for murder and put into prison, where you just happen to be recruited into a Death Race to replace their best driver, wait until you get some HARD EVIDENCE before you even suspect them. Like the killer repeating his callsign!
23. The “good guys” in prison look like they don’t even belong there, while everyone else is a HARD-ASS MOFO.
24. If you put 6 inches of steel armour on your car that you can then eject at other cars when it’s spent, make sure after it ejects it leaves your gas tank totally unprotected and you don’t put any additional armour covering it!
25. Honest man have honest work were they make $300 for 120 hours ($2.50 an hour).
26. If you’re framing someone for a murder while wearing a mask, make sure to leave them some clues that could help them identify your later. (like a gesture you’re using realy often in your everyday life, or smth)
27. If you’re in a killing ‘sport’ – wearing mask makes you more expendable than anything.
28. When US economy collapses there still would be at least 70mil bored people, who can spend $99 on watching some death race instead of renting a movie for a lot less money.
29. There’s always a train passing by, when you need to escape from the police.
30. In a post apocalyptic prison, no one questions the use of an ejector seat that could propel an inmate over the wall.
31. No matter how many rounds you fire at the car in front of you while it’s swerving back and forth, you will never be able to hit the tires.
32. Even with the complete collapse of the economy, gas is still cheap enough to hold ridiculous automobile races
33. Prison islands that are filled to overflowing still have largely uninhabited, unused industrial areas perfect for holding a death race.
34. Jail guards are smart enough to build carbombs… just not smart enough to hide them properly.
35. Jail guards are dumb too to think that pit crews don’t make a total check of their cars prior to racing.
36. You can attach the 105mm turret of a M1A1 Abrams tank into the rear of a semi.
37. You can step on a kids hands and make the cracking sound of bones breaking but all will be healed in a few hours in time for the race.
38. The videogame designers of today will be the jailwardens of tomorrow.
39. The .50 cal that tore up Messerchmits, Fockewulfs, Zeros, trains, and boats of WWII can do nothing to modern automobiles reinforced with a couple inches of steel.
40. I can shut off my brain and suspend my disbelief long enough to enjoy this film and still make it back to reality and lead a normal life.