51 important things i’ve learned while watching ‘clerks II’

Name: Clerks II (2006)

https://i2.wp.com/img294.imageshack.us/img294/2936/inbrugespostermedah1.jpg

Imdb page: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0424345/
Rotten Tomatoes page: http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/clerks_2/
Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gLvhJ0m5ask

Important things i’ve learned while watching this:

01. You never go ass to mouth!
02. Porch Monkey is not a racial slur. Nigger is!
03. You can fuck a donkey in New Jersey for 500 bucks.
04. Anne Frank was deaf blind and dumb.
05. You caint be charged for watching a donkey show.
06. Kelly can be a guys name too.
07. Anyone knows how to slow dance.
08. Sam and Frodo are gay for each other.
09. They are not gay… They are hobbits.
10. The Transformers are not a gift from God, they’re from the beast we call the desolate one, the first of the fallen, the spoiler of virgins, the master of abortions!
11. Kinky Kelly is born to fuck.
12. Don’t look at Dante’s wee-wee.
13. At carstobots.com, you can get an avatar that’s your picture morphed to look like a robot.
14. Sometimes, in the heat of the moment, it’s forgivable to go ass to mouth.
15. Never take a piss next to a back door of a burger joint.
16. Throwing the pig in with a Martain IS something to be proud of.
17. Never accept free food from a picklefxcker.
18. It’s aparently illegal to drive around LA with a Deployed airbag.
19. Elias would have kissed her already if it wasn’t for Listerfiend.
20. Love at workplace is the best.
21. Jail cells haven’t changed much in the past 200 years.
22. Working on your birthday builds character.
23. An abnormally large clit is just one step short of a really small cock.
24. Jesus was a Jew.
25. Freedom Toast is a possiblity. Even Anne Frank could see that…
26. Go-Bots are like the K-mart Transformers.
27. It takes 4 bites of a pickle before it fits.
28. Sometimes, Moobys tastes like piss and flys.
29. Getting Mayo in your cooch is nasty.
30. You can tease someone about a movie so much that they will vomit.
31. People will go into a fast food joint to buy food but not actually eat it.
32. Parents put pussy trolls inside their daughter’s vaginas when they are born to stop them from having pre-marital sex.
33. Dante isn’t supposed to be here today.
34. Whenever you leave your current working place, you should leave huge “Eat Pussy” sign.
35. Arwen’s replica sword is the best go away present.
36. Lord of the Rings was a massive achievement, even recognized by Academy.
37. There’s only one “return” and it’s of the Jedi.
38. Among those who practice it, bestiality is known as interspecies erotica.
39. Lord of the Rings is a movie about a bunch of people walking to the crater of the volcano.
40. There ARE people, who will jerk off watching a donkey show.
41. There’s only one trilogy.
42. Jay’s gonna be the first homeboy to fuck a martian.
43. If you’re mean to the jewish kids, they’ll put the sheeny curse on you.
44. It’s ok to use bad language if there’s nobody from your church around.
45. A broken beer bottle is also a nigger knife.
46. Two hot chicks will always fight over the same ugly (but nice) guy.
47. No matter how sweet your grandma is… she might be a racist.
48. We can’t all be internet millionaires.
49. Never trust an on-line sex order form if there’s no pictures.
50. Internet millionares dress like ’80s villians. (Members Only jacket, upturned collar, Magnum P.I. mustache)
51. Six hours of walking will get you an Academy Award.

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