Name: Hitman (2007)
Important things i’ve learned while watching this:
01. Rigging your door to blow up your room while you’re inside of it should somebody try to break in is a great idea that works out perfectly.
02. Wearing tons of body armor doesn’t actually protect you from bullets at all.
03. In Russia officers walk around outside a crime scene carrying AK-47s to let the public know they’re safe.
04. Multiple assassins who have been sent to kill you will for some reason also pull guns on each other before you convince them to fight with small katanas you were also carrying.
05. When you’re shot in the forehead the brain/skull/teeth whatever that explode out the back of your head is known as “Arterial Spray” and can be used to determine if a man is actually a double.
06. Having a barcode tattooed on the bald skulls of all the members of your hitman organization WON’T attract police attention.
07. Assassins love magazine ads.
08. NEVER give 47 any empty gun whatsoever, he may have ammo for it.
09. Wearing a suit doesn’t restrict your movement. In fact, you seem to shoot better.
10. No Shoes means service when 47 comes to buy a suit!
11. Hiding your guns in an ice station at a hotel is a smart idea and nobody going to get ice is going to discover it.
12. Threatening your computer is a good way of getting it to respond.
13. Standing in an open emergency exit to a SWAT-filled elevator is a good idea and they won’t turn around and discover you unless you start shooting at them.
14. You won’t die if you jump from the 6th story of a hotel into a lake.
15. “You’ll lose your life” is a much more effective way of telling someone they’ll die than “I’ll kill you”.
16. Despite there being no prior evidence of their existance or practical reason for them being there, two machete’s will appear on an agents back whenever they are needed.
17. When you’ve been a sexslave and you’ve been abused for quite some time, the first thing you want to do when you’re in a room with a cranky bald assasin is to have sex with him.
18. When a gorgeous Russian prostitute wearing nothing but a thong gets out of bed and stands on an outdoor balcony of a hotel room in the Middle East, it’s *not* polite to stare.
19. The goggles on Russian special forces gas masks glow red.
20. After a sniper hit you should blow up the case with your rifle in immediately so that the security forces know exactly where you are.
21. As soon as the assassin jumps out of the hotel there is no need to lock down the immediate area and continue the search, just admit defeat and give up.
22. For some reason, one particular secret assassin is incredibly better trained and more competant than all of the others.
23. Conspicuous, bald assassins never need to wear wigs or hats to disguise themselves.
24. Russian prostitutes do not mind if you knock them out while they try to put the moves on you.