36 important things i’ve learned while watching ‘resident evil: apocalypse’

Name: Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004)

https://i2.wp.com/img150.imageshack.us/img150/3918/inbrugespostermedpo3.jpg

Imdb page: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0318627/
Rotten Tomatoes page: http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/resident_evil_apocalypse/
Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=onJoefM-MVQ

Important things i’ve learned while watching this:

01. Dead bodies buried six feet under in cemeteries physically attract any viral infections within city limits. Also, no matter how tattered, they can easily crawl out of the ground when a trespasser nears.
02. The only way to kill a super zombie-mutant is kick boxing.
03. Zombies’ heads magnetically attract bullets, even when haphazardly fired.
04. When you’re trapped in a zombie-infested city, make sure to check out as many buildings as you can, specifically the schools, churches, police stations, biological-warfare laboratories, and other populated areas.
05. Mutant killing machines are not effective unless given high-powered weaponry.
06. Always wear a miniskirt and tanktop to work.
07. When a city the size of Raccoon City is sealed off, the world doesn’t notice.
08. Tanks and armor are out. Kill zombies with motorcycles.
09. Flesh-eating monsters ALWAYS look in small alleyways, tight corners, and dark buildings. They also always look together.
10. Men dressed in black stealth gear, high-tech weapons, and armor are useless.
11. Said zombies in graveyard would all pop out at the exact same time.
12. Private corperations could own nuclear weapons and no one would know.
13. When hiding out in a city overun with zombies, hide in a bus surrounded in windows, then yell and swear about how screwed you are.
14. Its possible to barracade in an entire city within a matter of hours.
15. When you see an 8 foot monster approaching you, don’t bother to shoot it in the head first; start from the stomach and work your way up.
16. When you restrain people, don’t bother to check them for pocket knives.
17. If you’re fighting off hordes of walking zombies, standing still and shooting will get you killed.
18. Zombies kids can appear in a classroom in one second.
19. Gold Desert Eagles are a minimal threat.
20. Trash collectors will protect you from rockets.
21. Telekinetic powers can travel through cameras and computer screens.
22. Zombie dogs love school just as much as zombie children.
23. All undead creatures hidden in underground facilities can be tracked by a random piece of technology.
24. Further random pieces of technology can scan an entire city, locate any person, and allow anyone to visually fly through the streets.
25. Zombies don’t eat flesh. They just nibble and then allow the person/thing to become a zombie.
26. It’s cool to bungee jump out of a helicopter and have your friend tie you off before you hit the ground.
27. Don’t try to save a woman running for her life she’ll just jump off the building after you save her.
28. Only main characters are allowed to know that it is possible to run away or around zombies. Extras (even those with machine guns) MUST stand and wait to be eaten.
29. During zombie attacks, you should crash your motorcyle through large windows. People may need your help inside.
30. If a friend or loved one is bitten, ALWAYS argue about about killing him. He may not turn, and if he does, you can handle it.
31. The power and speed of your punches and kicks is determined not by the size of your frame or level of development of the supporting musculature, but by the hotness of your ass.
32. A corpse trapped in a coffin buried six feet under has the capability to breathe an airborne virus.
33. It is completely possible for 4/5 people to live after a helicopter smashes into rocks at the bottom of a waterfall.
34. If a city is overrun by Zombies, Newspapers still have the time to publish and deliver an issue with the headline “The Dead Walk”
35. Pistols have a sick sense of humour and when sensing that you plan on killing yourself, even when out of ammo, will lock the slide forward so you are surprised when it clicks empty, leaving you at the mercy of a zombie horde.
36. You always have to see Milla Jovovich’s tiny chest in every movie she is in.

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