87 important things i’ve learned while watching ‘harold & kumar 2’

Name: Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay (2008)

https://i1.wp.com/img208.imageshack.us/img208/2450/inbrugespostermedtz9.jpg

Imdb page: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0481536/
Rotten Tomatoes page: http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/harold_and_kumar_2/
Trailer: http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=8w3ZxcT2Lhk&feature=related

Important things i’ve learned while watching this:

01. A film with Neil Patrick Harris is always better than one without Neil Patrick Harris.
02. Jews like gold.
03. Black people like grape pop.
04. Cheetahs like weed.
05. Never leave NPH alone with a hooker.
06. Ugly men have hot wives.
07. A bottomless party is awesome until you’re asked to take off your pants.
08. Fat guys in convenient stores do great teradactle impressions.
09. It’s okay to piss on Harold, but not on Kumar.
10. Never leave Kumar alone with your nosehair clipper.
11. Neil Patrick Harris never dies!
12. When bringing weed on an airplane, wait until landing to smoke it.
13. The best George W. Bush impersonator was not available.
14. Hot girls still wants to kiss you when you smell of hamburgers, blood, sweat and weed.
15. Katie Holmes’ tits may or may not be real.
16. It is possible to perform surgery while high.
17. There’s no sense getting all riled up every time a bunch of idiots give you a hard time. In the end, the universe tends to unfold as it should.
18. Never say bomb or BONG on an airplane.
19. Guantanamo Bay is actually really easy to escape from.
20. Doughnuts are delicious.
21. When giving a cockmeat sandwich to hardened terrorists, never leave the cell door open.
22. Neal Patrick Harris deserves an Oscar for that performance on shrooms.
23. NPH hooked up with every piece of ass on the show Doogie Howser MD…except for the chick who played the hott nurse.
24. Never leave NPH in your car alone, because he will steal it.
25. Never leave NPH in your car alone, because the cops won’t believe he stole it.
26. Don’t judge a huge scary black man as he approaches your car with a crowbar. He might just want to help.
27. George W. Bush hates weddings.
28. Hookers can never find love.
29. Government officials only wipe when the 5th amendment to the US Constitution is the TP.
30. When don’t like giving handjobs, but like getting handjobs, that makes you a hypocrite.
31. He was serious about that Kool-Aid.
32. NPH goes wherever God takes him.
33. When ever you see a hot girl through a window in amsterdam about to kiss a german guy in leather it is probobly just a photoshoot.
34. NPH likes big knockers.
35. Farming not high is boaring as sh*t.
36. If you call a black guy Matthew Perry he will immediatly get pissed off.
37. Never trust men in guerilla masks even if you think hes your BF.
38. The KKK throws Keggers frequently.
39. Little white girls signify the U.S.A.
40. Men’s faces from the middle east looks exactly like their privates with a beard.
41. A Jew’s weakness is loose change.
42. A black man’s weakness is grape soda, or Kool-Aid.
43. A government official’s weakness is a little white girl (America).
44. A Korean guy’s eyes make him look retarded.
45. If you are a preppy guy with a “date-rape face”, who’s father has ties to the president, then you are indeed awesome.
46. Bottomless parties are a great idea. Period.
40. Two words: Starship Fu*ckin Troopers….(Okay it’s three words)
41. Goldstein had sex with Cindy Kim.
42. Neil Patrick Harris hopes that T-Bird kept the baby
43. Every time Neil Patrick Harris sees Hershey Kiss’s, his balls get wet
44. It’s perfectly safe to smoke weed in the school library
45. The most hideous boil face in the world has a singing voice like a bird
46. The KKK know how to party
47. Harold is a twinkie, yellow on the outside and white on the inside
48. Mentioning those perfect square burgers to another hamberger resturant employee… makes him wanna burn that motherf—— place down
49. Extreme punks listen to lite/pop rock
50. Venessa’s fiancee really is a douche bag
51. Ron Fox enjoys eating malt balls while listening to Top Gun’s “Dangerous Zone”
52. Both Harold and Kumar have no idea what they’re doing when they jump from the sky with a glider or parachute
53. Harold used to be emo.
55. Hey…. *beep* Kumar!
56. In Guatanamo Bay they serve cockmeat sandwich
57. Bush invites trespassers into his secret hideout
58. Throwing something at Harold, saying ‘Think fast!’ is NOT a good idea
59. When Kumar falls from up on high and hits his head, his ass hurts.
60. A woman fisting a human sized bag of ganja crossed my line.
61. Harold & Kumar were DESTINED to be together…hence emo Harold loitering in the background whilst Kumar tucked in.
62. Weed in America gives you the MAD-MUNCHIES to such a degree one can eat 30 burgers in one sitting.
63. Business Hippy = Douchebag
64. Kumar can smell douche
65. Learning Hindi wasn’t such a bad idea…because it meant the Indian store owner smiled.
66. Americans have a sense of humour
67. Kumar’s idiot brother should’ve been in number 2
68. Bottomless parties are great…but tits are required
69. Some sterotypical prejudice will NEVER stop being funny.
70. Eating an entire bag of shrooms and talking about Starship Troopers will NOT make you see big F@CK OFF bugs everywhere. Neither will the snozberries taste like snozberries.
71. I learned how to play Battle $hits.
72. Weed makes your life more colorful.
73. Never let you roommate take a dump when u are taking bath.
74. Library is a great place to do weed, and make out.
75. You can swim while sky diving.
76. Govt. officials don’t wipe their ass clean.
77. Redneck Farmers that live in the middle of no where have internet.
78. George Bush smokes that Bama Kush.
79. Current presidents love smoking weed, but they grow out of it as soon as they leave the oval office.
80. Follow the unicorn to find out the secret of being.
81. That a bong can be mistaken for a bomb.
82. Old white people think indians are terrorists.
83. That cubans do not know how great TiVO really is.
84. That a poem with mathematical equations can touch you and make you cry.
85. White Castles is worth it.
86. When you crash your car into a black neighborhood and they approach you with crowbars, they just want to help.
87. Your dad is always forcing you to live up to his standards, especially when he was the President of the United States

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