important things i’ve learned while watching ‘rise of the planet of the apes’

Name: Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011)

Imdb page:
Rotten Tomatoes page:

Important things i’ve learned while watching this:
01. Gorilla’s injected with ALZ-113 can evolve so much they will eventually start to fly their way into helicopters.
02. Scientists can make apes smarter but they suck at spotting a pregnant ape.
03. It’s easy to slip an ape through the security of a research facility.
04. Apes can jump through fortified glass several stories down on concrete without a scratch.
05. If you work in a super high tech lab and get exposed to an experimental virus, don’t bother to do any tests and just call the day off, even if you sneeze blood.
06. When you live with a guy for 5 years, don’t ask a single question about his job. Wait until your five year anniversary and then start to ask.
07. If an ape wants to protect her newborn baby, she will run all around the facility breaking things.
08. Will should have put Caesar down with the other apes.
09. Keep your pet ape on a leash and then tell him he isn’t a pet.
10. If you raise an ubersmart monkey, don’t give him any dumb ideas by naming him after one of the greatest conquerors in human history.
11. If you are in a flying vessel like a helicopter and engaging enemies that are restricted to the ground and don’t have any long range weapons, be a sport and fly close enough to the ground so they can reach you.
12. After defeating the US military, the Canadian army and the armies of Middle and South America, these monkeys will figure out how to swim across oceans (completely unstoppable to naval forces) and whoop ass all across Europe, Asia, Africa, etc.

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