Name: Star Wars IV: A New Hope (1977)
Important things i’ve learned while watching this:
01. Only Imperial Stormtroopers are so precise: they can shoot a 30 metre long Jawa Sandcrawler at point blank range! These Tusken Raiders must be such lousy shots…
02. Even though Parsecs are a unit of distance, not time, it is still sounds impressive to your customers when bragging about your performance in the Kessel Run.
03. A new ship costs ONLY as much as 4 tickets to Alderaan. Maybe it’s made in China!
04. In the military, your subordinates will usually know more then you.
05. If you are strong in the Powers of the Dark Side, above-mentioned fact will usually result in the slow, painful crushing of said-subordinate’s trachea.
06. According to George Lucas, the difference between good guys and bad guys is that most good guys have American accents, and most bad guys have British accents.
07. These Alderaanian princesses sure have some self control! They won’t break down into hysterics of screaming and crying if their home planet and everything they love and treasure is blown to pieces. Instead will just calmly lie down in their prison cell and wait to be rescued.
08. It is difficult for top cheifs and commanders of the Empire to accept this “Force”, even though their Emperor is a major practitioner in it.
09. Every planet has the same gravitational pull as earth.
10. Greedo (in the newer one) has horrible aim.
11. Shoot first. Ask questions later.
12. Han solo is best at taking care of himself.
13. Stormtroopers and low doors don’t mix.
14. Droids cannot get a beer in Mos Eisley.
15. Luke had better have those units in the south range repaired by mid-day or there’ll be hell to pay.
16. There’s no such thing as “luck”.
17. When very old, and lightsaber fighting against a Sith lord the best way to attack is to do a full 360 degree turn in a very un-convincing way, and the sith lord will not just stab you in the back as you are spinning around.
18. Make sure you know your family tree before kissing a boy on the mouth.
19. Very old Jedi Masters, whom are supposedly very wise and speak English for many years, still can’t grasp basic grammar.
20. C3PO tried out for the cast of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, but they said he was too flamboyant.
21. Take a good look around for bad guys before looking into your binoculars.
22. There is something “worse” than Sandpeople.
23. It is possible to be immersed in a giant pool of waste and excrement and NOT throw up.
24. Men who act like a cocky playboys get all the women. Especially, if they look like Harrison Ford.
25. Heroic men who fight evil and save the day? Only get lovin’ from their sister.
26. The more evil you are, the uglier you get.
27. Being a princess can suck.
28. You can be a traitor to your friends and still be considered a “good guy.”
29. Non-human creatures rarely speak English, but they all seem to understand it.
30. Do not cross Jabba the Hutt.
31. Don’t ask Sandpeople for directions.
32. Never trust men in dark helmets.