Name: Immortals (2011)
Important things i’ve learned while watching this:
01. Everybody back in that time frame is in absolutely fantastic shape. Even peasents and the poor all seemed to have a set of washboard abs..
02. Being an Oracles friend is a crap job and will eventually end you up in a creepy cows anus..
03. Theseus IS a God and everything we’ve ever learned in school is false.
04. Washing oil/tar off your skin is extremely easy in ancient times.
05. If you’re a priestess assistant and you get free don’t escape when you have the chance. Stay and allow yourself to be tortured.
06. Gods teleport like power rangers.
07. Telling the viewer which God is which isn’t important.
08. The body double for freida pinto needs to be a playboy model
09. Poseidon’s helmet is the inspiration for pokemon Magikarp.
10. Zeus is bipolar and should be on medication.
11. Kellen Lutz only survived because the Twilight fans would have freaked.
12. A man can walk barefoot over a landscape of salt crystals bearing a giant beam without any injuries.
13. Monks without a tongue can still speak.